Unexpected Answers to Prayers

Image from Kayla Ferris, "All About the Author," First5 Ministries. 

During the spring 2022 semester, I had a research sabbatical. This did not mean "do nothing." It meant that instead of prioritizing teaching and all of the "extra" of a job in academe, and struggling to protect research and writing time, I could give all of my pent-up research energies full reign.  I could get up, read, write, draft and draft and draft all day long.  At night and on the weekends, I was able to enjoy quality time with hubby instead of grading, answering emails, and planning for the day or week ahead. 

It was a much-needed investment in my intellectual and creative self.  Not to mention my tired brain and body.  

Throughout my sabbatical I prayed Psalm 90:17, that God "would show me the work of my hands." I prayed that I would do it for Him, and that he would help me find find favor for the work I was doing. 

And He did.  I did not neglect the sabbatical project I proposed, but I adapted it.  And it got published within two months.  Papers that had been simmering for years came to fruition, in part because there were "coincidental" calls for papers asking for submissions on my topics.  

And I listened--or I felt like I needed to listen--to a niggling whisper to invest in my creative self, to explore different types of writing. Especially to explore life writing and Adolescent Young Adult genres on diabetes and chronic illnesses, which are rarely fairly represented in the media. 

What I kept feeling was a pull to write differently, and do differently.  To find other outlets. I felt a yearning for an audience of "more" than academics, an audience for whom I could truly make a difference.

Was this pride?  

"God" (I have prayed repeatedly between January and last week), "please show me where this is taking me.  Show me the work of your hands.  Help me earnestly seek to glorify you."

Last Wednesday, October 28, the day after my Bell's Palsy Diagnosis, the computer almost forced me to it.  I felt a compulsion to tell about by Bell's Palsy.  And that I needed to do it publicly.  That I needed to start a blog. 

But that time of morning is my Bible Study time.  It seemed wrong to jettison God Time for blog time--and for writing about myself, too boot.

But that whisper--write--did not stop.  

I made a deal with myself: I would do a quick study, just to preview it.  I would return to it at lunch.  

The first thing I saw on my First5 App?  

The image above: "Jesus, show us how to use whatever skills we have to glorify you." 

There are many gifts that God has chosen to bestow on others, and not me.  But He has given me the ability to write, to empathize, and to listen.  

I am trying to listen to him.  Serving him and glorifying others because of Bell's Palsy was not on my radar.  Certainly is not my top choice.  This is not what I envisioned as I began to explore options or earnestly prayed, and continue to pray, the prayers above.  

God always answers prayers.  Sometimes we get our way.  Sometimes we do not, and sometimes we are not sure...we are in the middle, waiting.  Sometime for years.  So it is not unexpected that God answers prayers, but that He does so Unexpectedly.  

I feel like this--BP, and my creative yearnings, and especially the desire to write autobiographically--is perhaps my Unexpected answer to prayer.  Had I known, I would have put some boundaries around it: "But please don't let it be about....and please do this...and don't let this..." 

But I did not--nor should I have. God is ahead of me and behind me.  I need to discern, and do my best, to follow his path. 

So here I am, trying to trust that God will use my current situation for His glory, and that I will be a willing servant, obeying where he directs the work of my hands.