"Fix My Face" and Other Practical Gifts for the Bell's Palsy Patient

"What can we do?" That is the question we ask ourselves when someone we care about is hurting.  And in the absence of being able to fix things, we give gifts to show we care and we are there.  

I have received countless gifts in all shapes and sizes over the last few weeks.  Friends, colleagues and family have texted, emailed, and sent funny cards. They've reassured me that I am still me and that they love me.  They've expressed empathy, knowing that I--who used to be told "not to talk grandma's ear off"--will struggle to limit my speaking.  One friend offered just to come sit with me.  Two other friends came over in response to my SOS that I was terrified to eat and drink in front of people and would they be my guinea pigs?  Others have shared their own stories with Bell's Palsy.  Hubby has shown the gift of service in multiple ways, from cleaning the whole house to dropping everything to take me to Urgent Care.  Four people stepped in to cover my classes--two of them permanently, for the next five weeks.  

I have received whimsical, thoughtful material gifts.  In my early days of COVID + Bell's, a friend who knows me well brought me a floating rubber ducky toy soap.  My parents sent a lovely Precious Moments figure of two ladies enjoying a spa day, a great memory of the times my mom and I have pampered ourselves and bonded (usually through giggles and our shared sense of the ludicrous). 

What I want to highlight below are gifts that are very Bell's Palsy oriented.  They are sweet, thoughtful, and useful.  And if you are in the situation of trying to love on someone with Bell's in the early days, these gifts will probably be very welcome.  That is because (I am assuming my situation is typical) there is not a lot of follow-up care.  There's the diagnosis, but no discussion of how life will change, or how--even assuming one does not deal with the Diabetes + COVID + Steroid Cluster of situation that I have--it absolutely upends one's sense of self. 

The first gifts came as a package from a fellow academic who--as we academics do--turned to knowledge as a mode of empowerment.  She sent me Fix My Face, a book that explains the ins and outs of facial paralysis.  I like it because it is full of clear information. It doesn't cut corners or sugar-coat things with false optimism.  I also like it because it is designed for those who cannot close one eye!  The layout is easy to read, the font is big, and the colors are bright.

Another friend, a dental hygienist, brought me a gift bag full of goodies.  She included an encouraging devotional, bright warm fuzzy socks, and a range of dental supplies aimed at the Bell's Palsy mouth and face.  See, Bell's is just this delightful thing--some people can't feel their cheeks, and so bite them.  Skin gets fragile.  Brushing your teeth is more important than ever, and harder than ever (for some).  So far I have been fortunate not to have any of those issues (knock on wood). I learned more about Bell's from my hygienist friend's run-down on her gift  than I learned from my GP or my Endo combined.  She provided Biotine, a velvet toothbrush, some pretty fancy electronic dental equipment, BP-friendly, non-drying mouth wash--and information. 

Hubby ordered me a hot/cold compress, which is microwavable and feels very good on a tight jaw.  I have been making good use of it as I ease back into work! 

And same friend who sent me Fix My Face also sent me a pack of lip glosses.  This cute, practical set is full of oils. I've enjoyed testing the Argan Oil, Vitamin E Oil, and Mango Oil lip balms, and they have made a huge difference on dry lip (and taste good!).  Bell's absolutely sucks away one's sense of prettiness and self-esteem.  Not only is the face not the same, but makeup routines shift.  Ever tried to put eye makeup on an eyelid that doesn't close?  Or lipstick on lips that are slanted?  This clear, shiny and tasty stuff makes my lips sparkle, feels good--and makes me feel a little sparklier, too.